ARTICLE 10 OF 52
I’ve failed recently. One of my biggest fears in business has came true. Something I never thought would happen when I first ventured into business. Something my wife and I at length spoke about and thought would NEVER happen to us. Of course not, “we’re too good”, we thought. We were naive and didn’t understand years ago when I started my own business that this would be inevitable at some point or another….
So what exactly did I fail at? To be blunt, for the first time ever my wife and I fought about our businesses. We swore years ago we would never argue about the businesses we’d own over the years, and thus far, a few years in, we’ve batted 100% on this core belief.
We all know having a 100% batting average is impossible. Even for the best of em’ you’re bound to strikeout from time to time. Well, the past few weeks I’ve stuck out, and you know what, I’m sick of it and have to get back on track. This post is 100% accountable and something I believe many entrepreneurs and business owners struggle with from time to time.
Today, I’ll unmask exactly what’s been going on in my professional life that’s impacted my personal life. I’m not proud of this by any means, but I’ve made a commitment to YOU, my valued readers, that I’d give you non-bullshit content when it comes to entrepreneurship. The entrepreneurial life isn’t always glorious, and frankly, I think we lose site of the importance of staying true to the ones who support us most - which in my case is my family.
Start By Identifying Your Core Principles and Values
I speak a lot in business terms about core principles. You’ve heard me talk about sales principles I live by, I’ve told you my core principle about sticking with winners and more so, I’ve spoke at length about having a strong team around you. These are all great and very much needed, but I’ve only spoke about these principles in a business sense. You must not only implement these in your business life, but you must also live by these in your personal life as well.
Well, lately, I’ve lost sight of some of my ‘personal’ core principles and values. I have a select group of values I want to always demonstrate and live by. Listed below are values you’ve never heard me speak about, that I need to implement right away in my personal life.
My personal core principles and values
Daily prayer: I get it, this isn’t for everyone, I’m not here to debate. This works for me.
Making my wife a priority: Sounds simple, but all too often our loved ones can get lost with the craziness of our lives, and for me this means business.
Making my son a priority: I have a seven month old son. Being a dad is the best thing to ever happen to me, likewise, it’s also been the most challenging. It would be easy for me to focus on business more vs being a dad. I won’t let this happen.
More fellowship: All too often my fellowship comes from affiliates in business. I need better relationships outside of business.
Staying active: Exercise, sports and health is a big part to my metal success.
Community: Being involved in my community is important to me. This allows me to stay involved while feeling like I have an outside purpose.
The Negative Impact of Making Non-important Things Important
My wife once said getting to the finish line doesn’t mean anything if you have anyone to celebrate it with. She’s 100% right. All too often we make useless things that don’t actually mean anything to us way too important in our lives.
When we make non-important things important it has a huge negative impact on the way we conduct our day to day life. Personally, I’m one that needs to put my personal values first every single morning when I get up. If I don’t, I tend to lose major focus and energy.
At my core, my phone truly isn’t important to me belief system. It’s not one of my core values. Unfortunately, my phone is critical for my business and very much needed. I have a horrible habit at making my phone very important to me when I wake up.
Here’s an example: I get up at 5am every morning to my beautiful son crying because he’s hungry. I get up with my wife frantically trying to console a seven month old baby. Once we get him calmed down, which can be tough for me to mentally grasp first thing in the morning, I grab my phone and rush to open up my inbox. The anticipation of waiting the five seconds while my gmail loads almost kills me! I have to see who’s emailed me over the dark hours of the night with some burning client request that’s bound to make my blood pressure rise when I read the email!
You get the point here. I wake up early because I’m a father and have to get my son ready for the day. Once I come off a rather tense situation dealing with a baby first thing in the morning, I rush straight to my phone to read my inbox which almost always gives me anxiety. Why and the hell do I do this? I’m literally setting myself up to fail first thing in the morning! I’m training my brain to “respond” and be controlled by a device that doesn’t really mean shit to my core beliefs. I’m also bring a very tense sense of anxiety into my world which sets the tone for my day.
The old saying is true for me in this case, “I lost the battle before I even fought.” - The question is, why am I putting myself in a position to fight? This is because I’ve made a non-important thing important. Shame on me.
Stress is a killer for anyone, it’s no secret. When you make non-important things important in your life it’s almost a fact you will have unwanted stress in your life.
Stress is a big killer for me. I have a high-pressured business. At the end of the day, I’m paid to make people money. That’s fucking hard at times, I’m already under enough stress and pressure, I shouldn’t be adding more to my plate. When I’m choosing non-important things over my core values, I’m inviting stress into my life. Again, shame on me~!
Making Principles and Values Your Priority
Listen, my mission in life is pretty simple. I want to live a happy, joyous and free life filled with people I love and trust. I want to help people achieve their most unreal dreams. I want to achieve my most unreal dreams. I have a GREAT core group of people around me and I’m doing a HUGE disservice to those people when I don’t make my personal values and priority.
I started this post off by talking about how my wife and I fought the other night for the first time ever in regards to business. It’s been a underlying thing that was bound to happen now for months. Why? Because I’ve put my priorities and values last. I made my business a priority over my family.
Here’s what’s crazy, I ONLY had a two week period where both my wife and I agreed that I made my business the clear number one and then put my family second. That’s when the argument happened. Put that in perspective - Some people don’t realize they put their family second (or last) until way later. Sometimes years or even decades! Look at the tension it caused my family by doing this for just a couple of weeks.
So what’s my solution? Simple; I’m getting back to the basics. I’m making my core value system a priority. I’m also going to stop trying to do it all myself. I’m getting my priorities straight and aligned like they should have been all along.
I wrote a blog last month about how business owners need to stop trying to do everything solo. Well, I’m there. I need to stop trying to take over the world in business in one day. I need to enjoy the process and practice patience a little. More so, I need to take a step back and be a better husband and father. At my core, I’m a great husband and father, but I always feel like there’s room for growth.
Maybe this weeks post isn’t a post. Maybe it’s a needed vent session for me? Or maybe it’s a valuable lesson to entrepreneurs and business owners about the negative impact making non-important things important can have on your life and business. Who knows? I’ll let you decide. Either way, if you’ve read this far, I want to thank you. I appreciate your time.
As I write this my wife is sound asleep next to me. We’re good. We’re incredibly blessed, both personally and in business. Gratitude is a powerful thing, and for now, I’m going to be grateful for FIRST my family and THEN my crazy entrepreneurial life and business.
There’s no call to action needed for this post. If your values align with mine then I’d be honored for you to join my community.